


It's Not Over

by Pooks79



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-20 23:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pooks79/pseuds/Pooks79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N – so the emotional muse has struck again. The song “It’s Not Over” by Daughtry inspired this little number. As you all know, I’m a fan of putting our two favorite characters into RL scenarios. This little one shot is one of those scenarios. I’m always reading stories about Bella and Jake living together in bliss and I thought what would happen if they did move in together and bliss turned to mundane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Over

I was on my hands and knees pleading for him to stay. I knew I was wrong in making accusations about something I had no proof was happening but I was scared. I was scared for so many reasons but he couldn’t see through his hate enough to hear me.

He stormed around the house throwing cloths around like they were paper planes in a gusty wind. He cursed under his breath saying things and calling me names I’d never thought possible. It hurt like hell to hear some of the blasphemy that spilled from his soft tender lips but I stood strong. Well as strong as one could at a moment like this. 

I sat at the base of the bed, my knees encased within my arms as I shuttered through his rants. I rocked back and forth, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end. Every couple had their fights and this was just a fight. He wasn’t going to leave, he couldn’t. He swore to me he would never leave me because in leaving, he would lose his heart. Had his heart already left? The thought incapacitated my ability to feel. My body went numb at the notion that I had been living with a shell of the man I once knew. Was this possible? How could I not have known?

I peered up from my knees and stared intently at him as he continued to dig deeper marks into the hardwood floor as he paced, his hands running frantically as he mumbled to himself, rationalizing all the reasons for him to leave. I wish I could find the words to change his mind. I wished I could’ve taken back all that was said and done if only to keep him in my life. There was no world without him, at least not one worth living in. 

I was jealous by nature. My insecurities plagued me my entire life. I never trusted anyone for fear of being hurt and the only one who not only gained my heart, body and soul was standing before me deliberating on whether I was worth the effort. The thought angered me but I tried to remember it wasn’t always about me. In a relationship you had to learn to compromise. We had learned early on it was better to talk things out than to allow them to fester and explode over something as stupid as a toilet seat being left up. Our relationship as a whole had been healthy but the last few months it felt like we hardly knew it each.

As I crumbled into a ball of fear and confusion, I reflected on our past. I tried to recall that one moment where everything turned from bliss to shit however, there wasn’t one specific time of utter importance. I guess over time couples fall into a routine and things that seem new and exciting at first, become common place and somewhat mundane. I tried to keep things fresh and new between us in an effort not to fall into that stereotypical couple you always see on Oprah. I didn’t want to have a meeting with Dr. Phil discussing how I would rate our sex life on a scale from one to ten. 

We both had been so caught up in our delay lives we started slowly but surely drifting apart. I can hear my parents saying “I told ya so”. We didn’t listen when they said we were too young and inexperienced. We swore to them and to ourselves that our love was strong enough to conquer all that lied in our path but as I sit here now, the man I love threatening to leave and my world crumbling before my very eyes, I start to think maybe they were right.

Jake and I had been friends since we were in diapers and all throughout high school we remained joined at the hip. Sure we had our own groups of friends and activities that we attended separately but by the end of the day, we always found time for one another. Our friendship grew into romance towards the end of our senior year. I guess you could say puberty opened our eyes to the beauty of one another very early on.

We took each day as it came. We never let anyone know we had turned from friends to lovers because we weren’t sure how it would all play out. However, eventually everyone caught on to our little show and surprisingly, it seemed expected that we would eventually be more than friends. 

After graduation, Jake and I decided since we were attending school over three hours away that we should find an apartment close to campus. The conversation with both our parents, suffice to say, didn’t exactly go over well. By the end of the whole screaming match, me screaming at my parents and Jake at his, it was decided that if we were going to do this, be together under one roof and we felt we were responsible enough to handle all the burdens of adulthood then they would let it be. This is not to say they agreed with our arrangement but what other choice did they have? We weren’t giving them an option to approve or condone but merely a courtesy to speak their piece. 

Jake left that night and promised me that no matter what, he and I would always be together and it made me feel slightly better about our decision. It wasn’t that I doubted our feelings or independence but the fact that my parents were so opposed to the whole idea made me wonder if we were being too hasty.

Moving day came shortly after and both my friends and his helped us move the furniture and boxes from both houses. When everything was packed up and we were ready to go, I hugged my parents and told them I would call when we got there. The pain I felt in their embrace is beyond human comprehension. The firmness of my mother’s hold on me made it almost hard to breath. It was almost like she felt if she held on long enough, I would change my mind. I rubbed circles on her back and pulled away, the tears streaming from both our eyes as we said our last goodbyes. 

The drive to Seattle was painful as we passed all the familiar childhood places Jake and I used to play in. We were truly saying goodbye to one part of our lives and embracing a new life of just him and I. My apprehension subsided once we reached our apartment and started unpacking. We had a ball setting up our new home and enjoying the freedom that came along with it. The first year was filled with long grueling days of classes and the nights, oh the nights, were filled with so much passion he and I could have written three Harlequin romance novels with our little sexcapades. All and all life was good and I couldn’t find one bad thing to complain about.

The second and third year was a whole different story. It would seem since both Jake and I were growing into our own in a matter of speaking, our daily lives had to change as well. As a part of his studies, Jake had to intern at a local dealership. His days were filled with learning the ins and outs of vehicle repair and his nights were filled with classes. My schedule was the complete opposite. I was studying to be a professional writer so my days were filled with classes but my nights were pretty much free. 

I tried to be understanding and not put too much strain on Jake. He was working so hard and I knew eventually our schedules would mesh again. I have to give him credit, even though we hardly saw each other except when sleeping, he was always thoughtful and left me notes or cards in his absence reminding me I was still in his thoughts. 

For a while it worked but eventually, I started sensing the void building between us. We were starting to live lives apart from one another and every day that past, we grew further and further apart.

I’m not sure if he noticed the space between us as much as I did. He was so lost in his studies and his time at the garage he barely had time to eat let alone worry about my feelings on the topic. I did what I did best, I repressed. I found other avenues to channel the loss of him in my life. I started pursuing publishing companies for some of the pieces had I written and filled my nights with writing or happy hour drinks with some of my fellow classmates. I drowned my sadness in my work and when I finally received an acceptance notice, the first person I called was Jake. 

I was beyond ecstatic that I was being recognized for all the hard work I had endured and when I received his voicemail for the fifth time, I merely hung up the phone and cried into the cushion of my couch. Our life had resorted to voicemails and text messages. This was not how I had envisioned our lives to be. We had always been so close even when life threw us curve balls and now I felt not only my best friend but the love of my life slipping through the cracks of our existence inch by inch. 

I didn’t know what I could do to make things better. I hardly saw him and when I did, he was too tired or too exhausted to hold a conversation longer than a few minutes. I wasn’t the type of woman that sends text messages like “I’m losing you – let’s talk”. I hated when my girlfriends used to tell me of their past boyfriends breaking up with them over the answering machine or through e-mail. That was cowardly in my opinion so I patiently waited for his next day off.

Well needless to say that day never came. If he was not at class or working, he was hanging out at the local bar with his friends. I started to leave notes for him expressing my need to talk but he would simply respond, “yes we do” but never found the time to actually sit down long enough to talk with me. I consulted with a few friends to see if they had any advice and after several hours of back and forth and four glasses of wine, I decided the cold shoulder might be the best approach. 

I was never one to turn down sex since it always seemed to come few and far between. In the beginning when everything was new and exciting, I used to have three to four orgasms in one session and now I was lucky he could even hit my g-spot before cumming. My life had turned into the stereo-typical relationship and the longer it stayed this way, the more I started to think he was going behind my back and finding satisfaction with someone else.

After several weeks of denying him, his frustration started to become apparent. I told him that we needed to talk and that sex wasn’t the fix to our little relationship problems. His solution was to turn to the side and just sleep. He said there was nothing wrong with our relationship therefore there wasn’t anything to talk about.

You have no idea what it feels like to see a person you truly love turn into a person you barely knew. The man that slept beside me wasn’t the man I had known since diapers. Time, stress and responsibility turned him into someone totally different and I wasn’t like the transformation one bit. 

In the days that followed, he became more and more vacant. His almost non-existence in my day to day life started making me suspicious. I wasn’t sure if he was staying out because he didn’t want to fight or because he was too drunk to come home. Unfortunately, my mind read more into his actions and I started searching for signs of his infidelity. Jake had never given me a reason to think he was unfaithful but my mind always drifted to any reason other than my own faults as the reason for his behavior change.

After searching through his pockets and finding nothing but loose change and some receipts, I threw his jeans on the bed and heard something smack onto the hardwood floor. I bent down and found a match book with a penciled phone number on the inside flap with a note that said for Betsy. My curiosity got the best of me so I dialed the number and the minute a female voice answered the phone, I hung up, tears filling my eyes and a burning sensation filling my chest as the feeling of failure ran through my veins. I fell upon our bed and cried until my body fell asleep, too weak to function under such strain. 

That find is what brought me to our current altercation. When Jake came home at two am that morning and crawled into bed beside me smelling like beer and cheap perfume, I just reacted. I mustered what strength I had and pushed him off the bed. He cursed while trying to regain his stance, failing miserably. When he finally did gain his balance, he stumbled into the living room and fell asleep on the couch. 

I decided to wait until morning to confront him. There was no use in starting a fight and him using the alcohol as a reason for not remembering the conversation. 

I awoke the next morning, the smell of his Irish Spring soap parading my nose and the feel of his soft hands cupping my face. I pulled back still upset at my findings and the condition he returned in. I opened my eyes, the hurt and deceit beaming of my face as if the anger was written in red magic marker.

His eyes scrunched together perplexed at my withdrawal. I wished I had chosen my words more wisely. I knew he didn’t respond well to attacks but once I started, it was like a train on full steam. All the anger, hurt and pain I had been feeling had flowed from my heart and out of my mouth with no thought to his reaction or the repercussions once released. 

Thus, I sit here huddled in a ball chastising myself for letting my mind overtake what my heart knew to be true. I watched as he pulled his duffle bag from the closet and stuffed his cloths into it as if he were beating his worst enemy. This violent side to his nature was one I had never seen but something I think he had developed over time due to his own repression of his emotions. We used to be able to talk about everything and anything without fear and now it would seem we had turned into two completely different individuals. 

He stood in the doorway and as I glanced up from my knees, my breathing hitched by my heartbreak as I stared into the eyes of the man I once loved with so much passion it would’ve taken death to extinguish the love I had for him, his eyes bleeding with pain as he whispered the words I prayed I would never hear. “I guess this is goodbye. The apartment is yours. Do what you will Bella. I’ve loved you all my life but as much as I love you, I can’t stand to live in a relationship with no trust.”

I watched him walk out tugging my heart along the hardwood floor as he exited the apartment. My chest pained with the emptiness I felt and I didn’t know what I was going to do. My body was unable to cope with the outcome as I screamed in pain over the loss I felt in my heart. 

My hurt turned to anger and resentment on the drop of a dime. I screamed and thrashed screaming “It’s not over!” repeatedly in resistance to the truth. It couldn’t be over, I wouldn’t allow it. I conceded after hours of screaming and crying so violently it caused me to empty my stomach over the toilet and retreat to the corner of the bathroom shaking in denial over my grief.

I crawled back into the bedroom and slept for what felt like days. I didn’t attend my classes and never left the bedroom. I didn’t know what to do without him. After about a week of my zombie life existence, I decided to stop festering in what had already been decided and move forward. If our relationship was so easy to toss aside than maybe I had spent too much time putting into something that was destined to fail. I wasn’t going to chase after him. His intentions were clear and if didn’t love me enough to try and work this out, I wasn’t going to either.

I skimmed through the classified ad’s looking for a part time job. Jake had taken care of all the bills since he insisted I focus on my studies. I guess in some small way I had taken advantage of him in that respect. I didn’t want to believe I was the cause of his unhappiness but I never could look outside the box. I never wanted to believe I had done anything wrong. 

I shook my head tossing the thoughts from my mind as the past only rekindled the pain and I didn’t want to regress into that coma like state again. I found a job rather quickly as a teaching assistant to one of the English professor on campus. I found the job quiet rewarding. He helped me critique my talents and I in turn helped him with his class assignments. 

I drove home late one night and was distracted by my cell phone ringing from within my purse. I took my eyes off the road for one split second and that’s when my tire dipped into a crater size pothole and caused my undercarriage to slam into the cement road. 

Anxiously I braced the wheel and felt the car shutter, wobble and then finally with one loud bang, the engine ceased causing me to veer over to the side of the road. Once the car came to a halt, I plopped my head onto the steering wheel in relief and frustration. Jake had warned me that my truck was on its last leg but I was insistent that she had at least a few more years in her. 

After I had managed to calm my nerves, I reached for my cell and without thought my fingers started dialing. Just as I was about to hit send, I realized the number displayed. It was amazing that even after a month without him; he was still the one person my mind drifted towards in times of need. 

I erased the number, pulled my triple A card from my wallet and called a tow truck. After about an hour, it arrived and towed me to the nearest auto mechanic shop. In all the years I had lived in this great city, this was the first time I had come to this part of town. I hadn’t really toured the city all too much because I was known for getting lost easily. The friendly driver pulled my vehicle into the garage bay and advised me to speak with the mechanic inside.

I pulled open the cemented door labeled B& J Auto. I snickered under my breath at the name, dirty thoughts instantly coming to mind by just the initials. The waiting area was in need of some cleaning. The place looked like it hadn’t seen a mop in years and there were endless amounts of papers and auto parts draped all over the ancient furniture and file cabinets surrounding the small area. I walked up to the desk and hit the small dusty bell. 

I turned away from the desk for a moment and checked to see who the text message was from earlier that had me get into this mess in the first place. Before I could access my messages, I heard the metal door to the garage bay creep open so I turned to address the mechanic.

The familiar voice that filled the air sent chills up my spine as I turned to put a face to the tone. My body froze in place as I my eyes fell upon Jake. I was rendered speechless as I gazed upon the god-like physique of the man I had called my best friend. It was as if I was seeing him for the first time. A tingle ran throughout my body as the warmth of his presence filled me. He had always been able to brighten my day with that pearly white smile and soft chuckle. 

As I continued to stare at him, I noticed something had changed. I started to wonder if he had missed me at all since his demeanor hadn’t changed like mine had. I looked downward fear filling my consciousness and causing me to burn so deep with regret it made it almost unbearable to breathe. 

A soft whimper seeped from my lips as I rushed to wipe the tears that spilled from my eyes. The warmth of his hand fell upon my chin and guided it upward as he pulled me into his chest. 

“I’ve miss you”

The sincerity in these three words made me weak in the knees. I had conceded when he left that his reason for leaving was because he had in fact found someone else to fill the void I couldn’t. However, his whispers of comfort sent my mind racing with so much emotion it was hard to utter even a simple response to his tenderness.

His thumb ran along my cheek wiping away the tears as they flooded my face. I leaned into his palm yearning for the warm I had missed for far too long. I continued to stare into his deep brown eyes, his own pain and remorse rendering me utterly speechless.

“It would seem no matter how far we drift apart, fate always helps us find our way” he whispered as his lips moved towards mine.

I couldn’t deny the power he had over me. As much as I hated how we left things and no matter how much I knew there were so many things still left unsaid, our chemistry was undeniable. Without thought I moved up and took his lips within mine. I needed to feel him. I needed to know what we had was real. I wanted to believe we could move past whatever it was that was tearing us apart and be the Jake and Bells I had loved so much.

My hunger grew as our kiss became more heated. His hands moved down my waist, cupping my ass and pulling me up towards him. I pressed firmly against his chest, the warmth of his body driving me insane with need. This was the effect he had on me. I knew sex wasn’t the answer but right now, it wasn’t about doing what was right, it was about showing him how much I had missed him.

I felt his grasp on my ass ease, allowing my body to fall to the ground as he pulled back. My heart raced and skipped a beat as the feeling of rejection superseded my lust and desire for him. 

“I want to show you something” he whispered as he laced his fingers within mine and pulled me towards the garage.

I tried to regulate my breathing as I followed behind him into the garage. He removed his hand from mine as he walked around a covered vehicle towards the back of the shop. He proceeded to uncover the vehicle while I stared at him in utter confusion.

He smiled as he walked back towards me, pulled me into his chest and whispered “Betsy, Bella, Bella Betsy” his hand motioning between me and the vehicle as he spoke.

‘Jake I don’t understand…what”

“The name you saw on the match’s in my pants. The name that started this rift between us. This is the woman that has been taking all my time. You see Bella, I knew your car was on its last leg and I knew we didn’t have the money to get a new one so I bought this car off a woman whose husband recently passed and who was in desperate need of money for funeral expenses. She sold me this car and after a good tune up, brakes, tires and a paint job she is as good as knew. I know this doesn’t fix things but I just thought you should know why I have been working so late.”

I turned to reply but his finger was quick to silence me, “I know there are things we have to work through and I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with but I wanted you to know I would never, ever, want any other woman but you. You are the air I breathe, the rhythm my heart beats to and the true love of my life. You are my heart and the only constant in my life Bella. There has never been anyone but you. I love you and I think if anything, this time apart has shown me how I can’t live without you. It can never be over between us because it has only just begun.”

I reached up and cupped his face between my hands. His words fueling my undying love for him and my concession to his devoted love for me. I knew the day he and I held hands as children on the sandy beaches of First Beach that he was the man I was born to love and cherish. No matter what he and I would face, I was comforted in the notion that it would always be he and I against the world. Ultimately when it came down to it, there was no life without Jacob Black and what was Bells without her Jake.


End file.
